Deus ex Machina
by Modsiw
Summary: Definition: An unexpected, artificial, or improbable character, device, or event introduced suddenly in a work of fiction or drama to resolve a situation or untangle a plot. It would be helpful to read http:newark.rutgers.edujlynchTermsdeusexmachina.html
1. Chapter One: Extreme Tedium

**Deus Ex Machina  
**  
by Dallin Mendenhall

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own the names or characters of "Yu-Gi-Oh!", "Yugi Muoto", "Téa Gardner", "Tristan Taylor, "Joey Wheeler", "Capmon", or "Duel Monsters". These names and characters are owned by Kazuki Tashahasi and 4Kids Entertainment. And probably Microsoft, too. You never know. I am not distributing this work for money. This is a work of fiction in no way officially affiliated with any company or corporation. I do not intend to devaluate the work of any individual.  
  
Setting: After Battle City series. I envision Battle City Tournament rules being adopted as general rules, except for the "Sacrifice" rule. Actually, on second thought, this could be anytime.

* * *

_There is a long-hidden power present on the earth, utilized by pharaohs long ago. This power was so great that the smallest scarab and the greatest sphinx had no choice but to succumb to the will of any who utilized it. However, the pharaohs were ignorant of the true potential of this power. When it overcame their own control, they decided to lock it away…  
  
In the absence of this power, man created his own. Machines. Machines that men never believed could become as great as themselves.   
  
Deus Ex Machina: the god in the mechanisms. The fortuitous and unlikely event that brings closure to an impossible situation. But what if the god is the machine? And what if it works against you?  
_  
Yugi Muoto and his friends were wandering aimlessly around town. It was just past noon and Yugi, cheered on by Téa, Tristan, and Joey, had already dueled every willing opponent. Now they had nothing to do, but wander the streets and hope some action would turn up.  
  
"Excitement is seriously lackin' in this town!" Joey said out of boredom, "What a guy gotta do to…"  
  
"Or a girl…" Téa added.  
  
"Or a girl," Joey agreed, "to find some excitement around here?"  
  
"Rob a bank," Tristan joked, and Téa and Joey emitted half a laugh. It was true, though. The only time there was ever any conversation-worthy topics was when a crime was committed. Yugi showed no signs that he was listening. He was buried deep in thought. Tristan tried to start a conversation with him.  
  
"Don't I get even a head nod, Yugi? C'mon, what's eating you?" Yugi's head snapped to attention.  
  
"Wha…? Oh, nothing. Nothing's wrong," Yugi said, not entirely convincingly. Tristan gave him a "yeah, right" look.  
  
"Well, it's just that, well, there's no one to duel anymore."  
  
"What do ya' mean, little guy? You and Joey just took on, like, half the kids in the town."  
  
"Well, yeah. But it's never challenging anymore. Not like any of the adventures we used to have." Téa sighed mentally. She'd been noticing for a while now that Yugi seemed to be growing tired of Duel Monsters. He'd progressed as far as he could. Sometimes she wished she could just tell him to move on to some other game, liked he'd been doing just after they all met. But even deeper down, she knew she could never tell him that. If Yugi didn't refute the idea right out, Joey certainly would for him. The only time Yugi ever seemed satisfied with himself was he was facing near-impossible and sometimes dangerous "adventures".  
  
"Let's go make an adventure then!" burst Joey, "Cut the chatter!"  
  
"Yugi," Téa intoned, "How can you pine for the adventures we've had? They were full of danger. You're Millennium Item, if not your soul, was always at stake." Yugi looked at his shoes and scuffed them against the asphalt.  
  
"I know," Yugi replied, "but it was a challenge." He half smiled, remembering. Yugi could almost laugh at himself; such a little kid facing such perils.  
  
"Don't worry, Yugi. We're about due for another adventure," Tristan said, prophetically.  
  
In the shadows of an alley, a hunched figure eavesdropped on the group. The cogs of his brain turned. He calculated multiple scenarios in his mind, playing out the results of each one. Carefully scrutinizing Yugi, his eyes focused on the Millennium Puzzle thumping against his chest with each step. He, mechanically, felt the Millennium Ring that rest there. After a moment's pause, he slipped deeper into the shadows and disappeared.  
  



	2. Chapter Two: The Plot Thickens

  
  
Eventually the gang had decided to go Kaiba's game centre, where Joey and Yugi had duked it out with three games of Duel Monsters. Yugi had won the first two games, as expected, but managed to score a win in the last game. Now the group was walking down the wide, semi-cobbled streets of Domino City. They'd spread across the width of the street, yelling back and forth to each other, window shopping, and buying snacks at some of Domino City's many cart vendors. Joey visited more than a few, and ended up with an armful of soda cans, pretzels, and novelty candies. They sidled off to one side of the street, in a small mezzanine to wait for Joey to finish his snacks. Téa came up to Yugi from behind.  
  
"Yugi," she whispered in his ear. Yugi jumped a mile.  
  
"Téa!" he admonished, "Don't sneak up on me like that!"  
  
"Sorry," Téa said, "but anyway, you let Joey win, didn't you?" Yugi didn't answer, but just smiled at Téa. Téa was mildly surprised; Yugi always thought it insulting not to give someone a run for their money, so to speak. Téa was about to reply but was interrupted by Joey's muffled shout through a mouthful of food.  
  
"Hey, any a' you guys got some money I can borrow? I'm still hungry!" Tristan regarded Joey scornfully.  
  
"We just spent all our money for the use of Kaiba's increasingly expensive dueling arena. Which, I noticed, was not at all funded from your pocket." Joey grinned and popped the last remaining bite of a pizza pretzel into his mouth. He looked up in the sky, thoroughly enjoying every unhealthy particle. His eyes landed on a forlorn looking figure across and down the street a bit.  
  
"Look!" Joey over-enthusiastically shouted, "There's Bakura! He's always good for a duel!"  
  
"If only he wasn't always after souls…" Tristan muttered, but it was too late. Joey was already half way across the street. Tristan, then Téa, and finally Yugi got up and followed him across the concrete to the white crown of Bakura's head that was facing them.  
  
"Bakura! Ya' up for a bout of D-M?" Joey called. Bakura didn't respond. Tristan pulled Bakura's head up by his mop of hair and looked him in the eyes. Again, no response.  
  
Bakura peered out at the people in front of him, through grief-stricken eyes. Was that… Yugi? The look of despair started to disappear from his face.  
  
"Yu…gi," Bakura stammered, mildly relieved, "My… ring…" Yugi's eyes widened.  
  
"Your ring? Your Millennium Ring? What about it?"  
  
"Gone…" the boy exhaled. Despair returned to his normally determined complexion and his head dropped back down.  
  
"Gone?" Yugi questioned, "Where? Who took it?" Bakura didn't respond.  
  
"Looks like we may have another wannabe Millennium Item collector," Tristan smirked.  
  
"Oh, no… Better watch out, Yugi," Téa warned, "The collector might come after you next." There was a brief pause. Joey, full of exuberance, broke the silence.  
  
"Don't worry, 'Kura. We'll get your ring back!" Bakura only mumbled illegibly under his breath  
  
"That must have been some defeat," whispered Joey loudly to the rest, "He's completely nutty."  
  
Téa looked at Yugi. Surely he wouldn't go after the thief. If the thief won a match against Bakura to take his Millennium Item, and left him crazed, it would only take a bit more effort to do the same to Yugi. Téa looked at Yugi again; he was occupied trying to gain Bakura's attention. Yugi had his Duel Monsters cards out, and was waving them in front of Bakura.  
  
"Hey, look!" Yugi said, "Bakura, look! Duel Monsters! Wanna play? What happened, huh?" Yugi realized there was Bakura's own cards in his hand. Yugi took them with his other hand and gestured with both sets.  
  
"Look, we can play. Hey, wha… Oops!" Yugi had dropped both stacks of cards. Luckily they landed in relatively neat piles. Yugi scooped them up and put Bakura's pack back into his hands.  
  
"This is futile guys… and girl," Yugi said, noting Téa's gaze, "Let's go." Nobody had any problem with that, so they stepped back on to the road and started toward the city center once again. All except for Tristan. Trying once more to capture Bakura's attention, he delivered a swift kick to the shine of the lump of a person with his head in his hands. Nothing. Tristan looked at the rest of them, shrugged, and then jogged up to join the posse of four.  
  



	3. Chapter Three: Pro Duelists

  
  
Domino City Center was crowded now that it was afternoon. Previously in the day it had been deserted. Now the shouts of vendors, kids, and gamers filled the air.  
  
"Sausage Puffs! Only two dollars!"  
  
"Save your animal friends! Buy Carrot Puffs! A buck fifty!"  
  
"Mr. Murphy! A few words for the Daily Domino?"  
  
"How'd you get my limited-edition Pumpking card?"  
  
"Tag! Dave's it!"  
  
"Sign up now for Capmon lessons! First two lessons fifty percent off! Become the best in no time!"  
  
"Rain on the way, folks! Big storm coming!"  
  
"Looking for a challenge? Play Duel Monsters against one of our professional duelers!"  
  
The last shout caught Yugi's attention. He'd seen professional duelers go head to head before. Much like professional wrestling, everyone knew the matches were planned. Great "strokes of luck" were common occurrences. And every dueler had a catch- The Warrior had a Warrior-type deck, the Russian Rage Beast flew into a frenzy, spitting out Russian obscenities, when he lost. Stupid, yes, but Yugi liked to watch the championships on T.V. every year. Never before, though, had there ever been the chance for just anyone off the street to duel one of them. Yugi could finally get the chance to see if they were as good as they claimed. He walked over. Téa, Joey, and Tristan followed.  
  
"Ya' interested in a duel, boy?" a blue-eyed man in a gaudy top hat asked, "Take a look around. Choose a duelist. They've each got their own prices." The man grinned at sauntered back over to a wooden stall at the edge of a black plastic platform. On the platform were numerous professional duelers. They walked along the side of the platform, checking out the names of each one.  
  
"Drama King, Road Hog, Hangin' Johnny, Captain Sails…" rattled of Téa, "How pathetic." She rolled her eyes but stopped when Captain Sails shot her a vengeful look.  
  
"Hey Yugi, ya' goanna duel anyone?" Joey asked, "Yugi?" Yugi was looking quizzically at a duelist a few meters away. The duelist wore a long black cloak with a hood, looking much like the Grim Reaper. His face was deep in the shadows of his hood. Tristan came up behind him.  
  
"The Steam Engine?" Tristan read, "Probably some kinda Machine-type deck, right? That shouldn't be too much of a challenge for you, huh, Yugi? You don't wanna duel hi… Yugi? Are you listening? What are you lookin' at? Yugi? Are you trying to get a look at his face or what?" But Yugi's eyes weren't fixed on the duelist's face, but rather, the Millennium Ring in his left hand.  
  
"How much?" Yugi queried, "How much does it cost to duel you?" The hooded head lowered and unseen eyes pierced Yugi's own.  
  
"Your Puzzle. I want your Millennium Item…" the duelist said in a monotone voice. Yugi glanced back at his friends. Téa was shaking her head furiously, mouthing the word "No" over and over. Tristan appeared surprised, but Joey was anything but shaken.  
  
"Sure Yugi'll duel you!" Joey said with conviction, "But if he wins, we get your Millennium Ring!"  
  
"Yugi, no, you can't! You can risk your Millennium Puzzle!" Téa interjected, but Yugi gave no heed.  
  
"It's a deal." Yugi said with conviction.  
  
"Followed me…" said "The Steam Engine". You could almost hear him smiling. He descended from the platform and walked away. Yugi looked back, mouth "Sorry" at Téa, and followed the hooded figure into and alley.  
  



	4. Chapter Four: Impossible Odds

  
  
They soon arrived at the back of an abandoned warehouse.  
  
"This looks familiar," Tristan whispered to Téa. Just then drops of rain began to fall.  
  
"In," ordered The Steam Engine, and glided into the building.  
  
"A little rain never hurt anyone," muttered Tristan, but followed Yugi and Joey in. Téa reluctantly followed the boys.  
  
What was immediately apparent to Yugi was that this duel arena was no Kaiba Corp. built arena. It was about three-quarters the size of a regular arena, and each side was stuffed with a number of gadgets not usually seen in a dueling arena. As The Steam Engine stepped up to his side, the building whirred to life. The locks snapped close on the door they'd previously come in through. Joey rolled his eyes. Theatrics, he thought. Typical of the "pros". Just then the duelist threw off his cloak. The gang gasped.  
  
"You… you're a robot!" exclaimed Joey.  
  
"Revise. Self-sustaining android," droned the mechanical being.  
  
"Whatever, uh, Android. You're still gonna lose. No one can beat Yugi!"  
  
"S-S-A is equipped with probability subroutines. Probably factors indicate S-S-A victorious," the android almost sounded smug, "Opponent. Place deck in automatic shuffler." A small hatch opened in front of Yugi. Casting an anxious look at his silent friends, he placed his deck into the opening, where the cards were immediately pulled in. Seconds later his neatly squared deck rose from a hole below the spot for cards. The small rectangular portion they sat on was depressed slightly by the weight of the deck.  
  
Across the arena, something was happening to the android. His "shoulders" sunk down the length of his body, then moved forward to connect with two consoles on either side of the panel. His head then extended slightly, and sunk down his chest to connect with a socket on the panel. He looked much less human now, but much more intimidating. Tristan, Téa, and Joey watched in silent awe.  
  
A horizontal laser beam scanned the side of Yugi's deck.  
  
"Opponent Deck," reported the android, "Weight: 3.1 ounces. 42 Cards. Heaviest cards: Castle Walls, Neo the Magic Swordsman, Dragon Capture Jar. Probability factors indicate these cards in first hand."  
  
"Hey, that's cheating!" interrupted Téa.  
  
"Negative. Database contains no such rule. Opponent. Draw," stated the Android.  
  
Yugi drew his cards one at a time. Neo the Magic Swordsman, Rush Recklessly, Sword of Dark Destruction, Castle Walls, Dragon Capture Jar. Each of the three predictions, correct. Yugi could feel the impending doom gather closer around him.  
  
"Opponent. Proceed"  
  
Better put down the magic cards to keep them safe, thought Yugi, just before remembering his puzzle.  
  
"Yu-Gi-Oh!" Yugi shouted. The Spirit of the Millennium Puzzle took control. Yami looked directly at the machine on the other side of the arena.  
  
"You may have predicted my first cards," said Yami in a much lower voice than Yugi's own, "But from here on in your probability subroutines can help you no more." With a flourish, Yami placed two magic cards face down.  
  
"Your turn."  
  
"Probability factors indicate Dragon Capture Jar has been set. Re-evaluating." The android was silent for a few seconds, after which it spat out two cards of its own, both to the back row. One was played face up, and as the holograms formed, Yami saw something he hoped he'd never see again: A green book opening and springing forth with a number of small buildings.  
  
"Toon World!" Yami exclaimed. He'd thought only Pegasus had that card. Nonetheless, he was happy to see the android's Life Points decrease to 4000.  
  
"Setting Manga Ryu-Ran, 2200, 2600, in face up attack position," said the android. A goofy-looking Dragon appeared on the playing field.  
  
"Your turn" came the monotone words. 


	5. Chapter Five: Deus ex Machina

Yami drew a card. Dian Keto the Cure Master. Sadly, not a monster card. Still, it could come in useful later. Yami sighed mentally. Composing himself, he flipped over Dragon Capture Jar. Manga Ryu-Ran switched into defense position.  
  
"You may have and incredible power to predict what I've set, but your memory circuits must have degraded," Yami sneered, "Now I supposed it's safe to play this…" Yami set Neo the Magic Swordsman, 1700, 1000 into face up attack position. The android spoke.  
  
"Re-evaluating. Probability factors indicate Opponent not attacking."  
  
"No kidding," said Yami dryly. Yami sent the machine a very superior glance.  
  
"I think I'm done…"  
  
"Re-evaluation complete. Drawing. Setting cards," said the Android. If Yami didn't know better, he would have thought there was spite in that voice.  
  
"You're doing great, Yugi!" yelled Téa, "We know you can win this!" Tristan and Joey cheered with hip-hip-hoorays.  
  
Suddenly, a holographic magic card and a holographic Empress Mantis, 2200, 1400, in attack position. The magic card revealed itself. Remove Trap. Dragon Capture Jar was destroyed and Manga Ryu-Ran sprang back into attack position. In the recesses of his mind, Yami heard Yugi whisper, Oh crap. Be careful, Yugi, Tristan thought, You may be up against more than it would seem. But Yami seemed to be smiling.  
  
"Attack Opponent with Empress Mantis," proclaimed the android. The vicious looking insect slowly advanced upon Neo the Magic Swordsman. The giant mandibles protruding from her head were about to crush the Swordsman, when Yami hurriedly slapped down a card from his hand.  
  
"Ha! Rush Recklessly. Now my Swordsman's Attack Points are increased to 2400!" yelled Yami triumphantly. As the Empress Mantis struggled to destroy Neo the Magic Swordsman, the android's life points dropped to 3800. Yugi was still at a perfect 5000.  
  
"Proceed," spat the machine. Yami was sure of it this time; he had said that downright bitterly. There's something to be said for artificial intelligence after all, thought Yugi. Yami drew a card. Fissure.  
  
"I'll place a magic card face down, in defense position," narrated Yami, setting Dian Keto the Cure Master, "And now, I'll attack your Manga Ryu-Ran!" The Swordsman rushed forward. With a gleam of light, it slashed its sword through the air and sliced through the cartoon Dragon. A roar was heard and then Manga Ryu-Ran shattered into a million pieces, and disappeared. Yami then placed Fissure on the field, and he watched in satisfaction and the android's side of the arena became devoid of its last monster, Empress Mantis.  
  
"So much for your probability factors," Yami said, while being cheered on by Yugi's friends.  
  
"Probability factors at one hundred percent accuracy," said the android simply. Téa, Joey, and Tristan didn't hear them, but those words haunted Yami. Did this mean that everything had happened exactly as the android had wanted it to? Just do your best, he heard Yugi say. Yami nodded.  
  
"Drawing," came the monotone voice again, "Setting cards."   
  
Toon Summoned Skull, 2500, 1200, appeared in face up attack position. Yami felt his blood run cold. He was running out of options, and now he was facing a monster as powerful as any of his own. He needed a miracle. Literally.   
  
Graceful Charity also appeared on the field for a moment, then disappeared to the sound of the android drawing three cards and discarding two. Yugi's friends were silent. Would Yugi come through and get Bakura's Millennium Ring? Or would you be forced to forfeit his Millennium Puzzle to this… thing?  
  
Yami was anxious enough already, but his mind went blank when he saw yet another card appear- Deal of Phantom. Suddenly, Toon Summoned Skull's Attack Points jumped to 2900, 100 points for every monster in the android's grave yard.  
  
"Attack," ordered the android. The machine's Life Point dropped 500 more, and the Fiend-type monster viciously tore Neo the Magic Swordsman to shreds. Yami's Life Points dropped from 5000 to 3800. Not a devastating blow. Yami was still winning, but not for long if that miracle didn't come along soon. Toon Summoned Skull was stronger than any monster in his entire deck.  
  
Yami still had one card in his hand- Castle Walls, no good- and two magic cards face down. Sword of Dark Destruction couldn't do him any good either. Dian Keto the Cure Master was also still face down. Even though using it would add 1000 Life Points to Yami's 3800, it didn't matter. His opponent could still annihilate him in two turns. Yami looked over at Yugi's friends. They all looked at him with concerned faces. Yami looked back at his deck. He took a deep breath, and drew.  
  
Deus ex Machina. The miracle he needed.  
  
Yami smiled. He searched through Yugi's memories and came across a recent one. One where Yugi had dropped two decks of cards…  
  
"I play Dian Keto the Cure Master," Yami said confidently, while his Life Points zoomed up to 4800, "and now I'll play… Change of Heart."  
  
"What?" yelled Joey, "How? Wha…, um, I don't get it. Change of Heart is Bakura's card!" The android was even more confused as it watched its prized possession, the Toon Summoned Skull, appear on Yami's side.  
  
"Probability subroutines conclude event as impossibility," the machine said quickly, "Event not possible. Battle City Tournament files. Yugi Muoto. Card 'Change of Heart' not listed. Probability impossibility…" The android drone on in confusion. Confusion was also on the faces on Yugi's chums. Slowly, but surely, a look of understanding came to the face of Tristan.  
  
"Yugi dropped the cards," muttered Tristan.  
  
"What?" asked Téa, "I don't… oh…" A smile replaced her confused demeanor. Joey, however still didn't understand.  
  
"C'mon guys, what happened?" Joey asked, "Why does Yugi… or… Yami… or whoever he is now, have Bakura's card? I don't get it!"  
  
"Joey," Tristan said slowly, "Remember earlier today when we were trying to talk to Bakura? And how Yugi dropped his cards?"  
  
"Oh…" said Joey, realization spreading across his face, "the cards got mixed."  
  
"That's right Joey," confirmed Yami, "After my attack, our metallic friend here will be left with a meager 400 Life Points. Which I can easily finish off with any monster I can draw in the next two turns."  
  
"Well, ya' big metal whiner," Joey addressed the machine, "before my good friend here fries your shiny hide, I gotta question for ya'. What does a machine need with Millennium items anyway?" The machine stopped its confused ramblings for a moment to answer.  
  
"Probability factors indicate advanced methods can transform stored magic power into usable energy," recited the android, "Amount estimated: enough to power android society for rest of foreseeable future."  
  
"Ya' mean there are more of you guys? Sheesh. Just finish the game, Yugi. I want to see what his probability factors have to say when it suffers horrible defeat." Yami nodded.  
  
"Now," Yami ordered, "Toon Summoned Skull, atta…"  
  
"Notwithstanding," interrupted the android, "Probability subroutines have planned for unforeseen event. Reveal set card."  
  
The gang watched in astonishment as one of the android's holographic magic cards turned around. Mystical Space Typhoon. Its effect sent Change of Heart to the graveyard and Toon Summoned Skull back into possession of Yami's opponent.  
  
Elation turned to horror as the four waited for the android's crippling blow. Thunder sounded outside as if to intensify the moment.  
  
But, in this case, Thunder meant lightning.  
  
Deus ex Machina.  
  
10 000 000 kilojoules shot down from the ceiling. The lightning, attracted by the enourmous energy out put of the android, fried the mechanical fiend's circuits and exploded its dueling console. Téa, Joey, Tristan, and Yami had to avert their eyes to avoid permanent damage. Yami grabbed his card deck and hopped off the arena platform, just before his console exploded as well. Yugi's three friends raced out of the building, pausing only to push open the now-disfunctioning electromagnet lock on the door. Yami skirted around the arena to his opponent's side, pried the Millennium Ring from the android's slightly melted grip, and followed the trio. As he ran through the doorway, the factory burst into flames.  
  
Yami and company made tracks, hoping the rain would keep the fire under control until the fire crew arrived. As they ran, Yugi talked to Yami from the back of his mind.  
  
You did great old friend. I knew I could count on you.  
  
Yami smiled, returned control to Yugi, and resumed his comfortable cranny at the back of Yugi's mind. 


End file.
